Friday, May 6, 2011

Lashing Out…

I often find myself in a dispute or simply, butting heads with the person I love. And other times, I am “out-of-my-mind” angry with him. I mean pissed. When I’m like this I want to talk. I want to get it all out. Every emotion wants flows out of mouth. Once I start it will continue to do so until I feel that my peace has been spoken. My love on the other hand, likes to retreat within when upset. A cocoon is built and he begins to process all of the emotions he's feeling. He needs a lot of time by himself which drives me crazy!!! We are totally opposites. We are a man and a woman. Most of the time, in order to prevent the situation from going from blood-boiling to explosive, I simply swallow my feelings. I find the lowest, darkest place within the corners of my soul and hide them there. At that point in time, have no use for them. But sometimes I am the fire starter. I have to say something before I start pulling my hair out and explode. I become angry since it seems like we more often than not, fight on his terms; when he’s ready to. If and when, I point this out to him I am made to feel selfish. I actually think that his opinion is ludicrous but is there any truth to his words? Am I being selfish? Is there even a fair way to fight so that all parties feel that their position is heard? Can peace be made between the two and progress made within the relationship simultaneously? Better yet, constantly?

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